The Opportunities of Change…

It always throws me off when people I meet after years say to me that I haven’t changed a bit. “Really?”, I ask disbelievingly as my hand instinctively rises to touch the newly forming lines around my 37 year-old-eyes! In my mind, I assume I’m virtually unrecongnizable from the person I was when I knew them. Surely, you can’t have an unaltered personality when you’ve moved around as often as I’ve done and had a whole new geographical and emotional landscape every few years! To live amongst different people who expect different things from you (I’m not implying that I’ve had to become what people expect of me, heaven knows that might make life a lot easier though if I could :P) but, some can handle you with all your potency, and some you’ve got to make a bit of an effort with. You go with the flow, and as unobtrusively as water that cuts through rock, you find you’ve forged a whole new identity for yourself.

I’ve always viewed change as a good thing “theoretically”, albeit my first meetings with it are often met with much kicking and screaming – but it’s nothing I’ve resisted extendedly! Change is inevitable, change is the essence of a universe which is in motion; and to try to impose stillness on life is an act of abject futility :) I realise that, despite a degree of being change-averse that if not for change, there wouldn’t be women’s rights, or freedom of expression, an end to apartheid or the hope of things ever getting better than the current, rather abyssmal state of affairs we find our world in!

I’ve already entered the vortex of the next change-cycle in my life. We move to Dorset, a beautiful place near the sea…a place that gets the most sunshine in all of England :) I’ve been there for 4 hours-that’s it, and looked at homes our real estate agent had lined up for us. I know nothing about it apart from what an arbitrary page on the internet has to say! My children seem less than enthusiastic about a new school (again), and as I try to sound excited and brimming with hope about new friends, the seaside…I feel that at 7.5 and 6, they can see through me a bit and sense the guarded apprehension within! My youngest recently asked me if I’ll make new friends too, after all, I don’t go to school and I work from home. I assure her I will…I’ve always done! :) Some of my strongest friendships have been the result of us moving around.

I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling that I’ve become a creature of habit-I have my routines that play out everyday in similar, unaltered rhythms. The children leave for school, I clear up the post-breakfast disarray. I play some music and make myself a coffee the way I like it. I reply to emails, I look into work that I need to get cracking on. I break for lunch. I go out or cook, I meet someone…I’m back for the children – homework, extra-curriculars, dinner, bath, stories, sleep. Time with the husband, a movie maybe! :)

Summer holidays have a way to disrupt all routine, and apart from finding constant activity/amusement for the girls, this time around, there are calls to be made, furniture to be bought; and a decison to be made about which of the 15 different mattresses that promise an uninterrupted, Utopian sleep experience is right for you! (The overkill of choice –fodder for a whole different post!)

 change, rhythms of life, relocating, meaning, accepting change, duck on water

Oddly, I recall from my very ecclectic reading sources that universally, people who are termed ‘happy’ and ‘lucky’ are those who have a great need to break or a least challenge the status quo!  (In my opinion, if you’ve managed to reach somewhere that has a Latin term defining it, don’t mess with it-stay right there! ;P )  I look at such people with unabashed reverence – even more so those who’ve managed to reach the other extreme of the bell-curve, the backpackers, homesteaders and forest foragers who live off the land (the real ones, not the ones in Hipster mags who ‘forage’ on the weekends dressed in hemp and bamboo and then return promptly to their investment banking desks adorned with hyacinths and cactii!) There do exist those who feel that by rolling their dice on life continually, they increase the chances of hitting the jackpot! Moral of the story – change is good, change is positive and to deny life it’s metamorphosis is to potentially deny it it’s hope!

So I’ll take life up on it’s ‘circumstance’ for me and go forward to build that home that I’ve dreamt of – my colour scheme, my design palette! I’ll learn new maps and find new spaces as a new accent filters its chords into my vocabulary. I’ll be the new mum at the school gate, watch my children in new uniforms at school and at ballet and know for them that this time, it’s here to stay! Mountains alter, oceans grow and shrink and the universe softly stretches on…nature’s time runs parallel to ours. And through our own individual tangos – life’s embraces and improvisations, we all still remain connected; unchanged at our core – one big ball of irretrievably tangled yarn! x

Sewn – The Feeling

www.intrepidmisadventurer.com

You might find resonances of what I’ve been saying in some of my recent posts : “A Walk in the Clouds!” – Austria, Liechtenstein and Switzerland!  and Retro-Chic and the Cult of Neo-Sobriety!

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. says

    Gosh, I wish I had your grasp of the language, Kanchan! You write so beautifully, so precise! I relate to your sentiment about change. I know I have changed, if not on the surface, ever so much inside. And I like change. There was a time in my life when I chased change, because it fed my insatiable curiosity (I’m a bit like kipling’s little elephant).
    In recent years, though, I’ve learned to embrace the constant, the reliable too. I think it came with the children, that need not to uproot myself all the time and start anew. I hope this new move will be a good one for all of you, Kanchan! I’d love to be the one who makes friends with that new mum at the school gate! xx
    Elisabeth recently posted…Übers Bloggen, Ferien machen und Schulanfang / On blogging, holidays and a brand new school yearMy Profile

  2. says

    Elisabeth, you are so lovely! Thank you for enjoying the post…everytime we speak, I’m amazed at how similar we seem to be. (especially loved the bit about Kipling’s elephant!:)) I place a big premium on the constant and reliable, children need that so much. I hope too that this works nicely for us, the first three months are the worst! :) Wouldn’t it be just fabulous if I met someone at the school gate who had twin sons and wrote a blog that for the life of me, I can’t pronounce (or spell) right 😀 Thank you for being a lovely ‘friend’ in a whole other world. xx

  3. Haya Benjaminson says

    You’re a very gifted writer and it’s such a pleasure to read your thoughts! I love the way your words dance on a page, quite like your photographs. I know that there is unrest in your lives as a result of all this but strangely, I feel at peace reading this. You make me feel like I come home to you on this blog.

  4. says

    I could not ask for more than that, Haya! :) I’m ruffled in a practical sense, and trying to get things sorted within a timeframe is certainly not my greatest strengths ;P But I feel alright, I know that everyone who matters will stay right where they are in my world. Tell Eli that all this makes me go back to Camus…what does geography matter?! :) Thank you for all the praise, and for being who you are to me! xx

  5. says

    I want to now appreciate the old and unchanging for a while, Annie and plant things knowing that I might be around to see the fruit of my labour :) x

  6. Sammybaby77 says

    I read this over and over before I felt I could leave you a comment this post deserved. I love your language and your ability to make universally applicable something that is so personal to you. I loathe change, but as you said that’s truly futile. Wishing you well on the next chapter.

  7. Sammybaby77 says

    How on earth did we get so lucky to have you around as a friend?! :) Love your company from the first day I laid eyes on you! :-)

  8. says

    Thank you Sammy! I never get over comments from you because I don’t expect you guys to pop around here :) (wink, wink!) How did I get so lucky to have met you guys…here’s to friendship-even if you’re a whole continent away! I’ll make it to the US soon, I promise. x

  9. says

    Maybe they don’t think you’ve changed because you remember of them which side of you they best react/respond to, and therefore you are the same person with them that they’ve always known (oo..deep) You HAVE changed because you take in all that is new each time you move & meet new people & this makes you grow in knowledge but ultimately Kanch you will always be you! Well I hope so anyway; please don’t change! Ps. When you discover the best bed to buy let me know 😉

  10. says

    Alex, there are a few people I will always be my most unguarded self with, regardless of how long it’s been since we caught up– you are one such friend!:) watch this space re: the bed, I might end up chosing a bamboo mat!x

  11. Amit Malagi says

    I just loved this – “Moral of the story – change is good, change is positive and to deny life it’s metamorphosis is to potentially deny it it’s hope!”

  12. Lorraine says

    Beautifully constructed prose. Prose that read like poetry, really! Wishing you happiness in the new home, I’m sure it’s going to be a heck of a trendy one too 😉 Enjoy your very validly spent time in Ikea and The Conran Shop and don’t do outlandish things! I do not want to be sitting in an industrial workshop when I visit England! :) A pleasure to get to read you Kanch. I know you don’t like your friends here, but we can’t quite help ourselves, we bored Americans, we like to break your lovely British decorum! ;P XO

  13. says

    Thank you for the aptly deserved praise! ;D (LOL) What? No exposed pipes, swinging salon doors, mismatched furniture? How would you possibly know you’re over at mine? Gotta do it for my overseas friends–can’t have them thinking I’ve changed, you see!;P Pleasure to see you here, always. x

  14. Faiza says

    Hello again! It is nice to somehow be ‘reconnected’ with the happenings in the life of an old med school friend from days gone by through his wife whom I have never had the pleasure of meeting! I wish you both all the best with your move and all the challenges that come with it. I should know…for I have also moved countless times to different continents and homes. Maybe it was a bit easier for me as I was mostly on my own and then with my husband. I think I have finally ‘settled down’ now at the grand old age of 38 in our new home (we just moved 4 months ago!). But never say never! A bend in the road as Anne Shirley would say….that is what this is, when you have to up and leave to face a new beginning. You just don’t know yet what is up ahead. Maybe your kids will build lifelong friendships in Dorset as well…..
    Love your blog by the way! Love to Amit.

  15. says

    Faiza, that is so lovely! Anne Shirley made me smile, I loved Anne of Green Gables, so there, I instantly have a liking for you now. Wish we had met in Zurich. :). Amit speaks very fondly of you&I’m so glad you take the time to know me via here! No more doctors in the family, I think I’m about ready to throw the towel in now. I know my parents were really sad when I decided against it, but I’m so glad I did -I don’t have the spine you guys do, and am nowhere nearly as dedicated as a doctor has to be. I doff my hat to you’ll but I sincerely hope my children choose another path. I wish them to know and have a home before their thirties, haha! 😀 Saying a big Amen to Dorset being where we really ought to be. Thank you! Much love. xx

  16. says

    Change, embrace it or loathe it happens anyway. Those that tell us we haven’t changed are perhaps referring to our outward appearances which alter subtly over the years but not usually that dramatically. Inwardly we may change more dramatically especially if we become parents but those changes are harder to ‘see’ don’t you think?
    sustainablemum recently posted…N….My Profile

  17. says

    Completely! From someone who worked non-stop to being a stay at home mum, from one continent to another….I feel like version 2.0 of the me that existed 7 years back! Priorities, world views, how it interact, everything’s changed! But I suppose, not all that is visible on the outside, though in all fairness, the outward has changed for me too 😉 x

  18. says

    Change is good, change is vital, I can’t imagine a life without change. I know you’ll espouse this move to the full and your kids will be fine. In 16 years in France I’ve moved 8 times. Each one has brought fresh challenges and each one has turned out to be better than the last. Enjoy whatever life brings you and to use another Latin term “carpe diem”!
    Phoebe @ Lou Messugo recently posted…Silent Sunday – 17 August 2014My Profile

  19. says

    I’m sorry it’s taken me ages to read these posts of yours. How do you manage to write so sublimely! I feel the same about change – surely your adventures show up as scars and blemishes and wrinkles. It is so good to read you. Hope your move has been smooth! Big hugs!
    cupitonians recently posted…Reality Vs Writing GoalsMy Profile

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